Polly Wanna Crackup by Phil Keaggy


Song Details


Polly Wanna Crackup
by Phil Keaggy

Album: The Uncle Duke Project
by Phil Keaggy


Okay Doc, what's it this time - the couch or the chair?
I'll take either, what do I care?
These sessions don't seem to be working too well
If you're prying into my childhood, I got nothing to tell

How many parrots have you treated this way?
I need some serious help, Doc, and I'm here to say
If I don't get relief soon we're talking serious breakdown
I can't take another day in this cage as a clown

I'm living in this joint now for almost three years
This little old guy is driving me to tears
It's "Polly this" and "Polly that"
Hey, I'm a male bird so he should cut that crap, babe

He carries on with these gushy words
Like, "How's my sweetie" - "how's pretty bird?"
No wonder I'm schizo living like that
I'd like to knock him right on his prat

I pace the cage all day, can't sleep at night
He covers my cage, man what a fright
The only relief is when he heads for the store
Then I get even by spitting seeds on the floor

"How's my sweetie, how's pretty bird?"
The ugliest words I've ever heard
Day in, day out, this drivel goes on
Can't stand it, Doc, I'm going ding dong babe

And another thing, Doc, that food I get?
It's always moldy and mostly wet
The old skin flint is too cheap to buy
A decent kernel of barley or rye

He feeds me these seeds that he reads birds should eat
If I repeat his cuss words I might get a treat
A salted cracker, that's what he thinks is so neat
One more "Polly want a cracker" and he's dead meat, babe

Doc, help me here, you're not saying a word
This is too much talking for this feathered bird
I need some answers, not a knowing smile
I'm coming unglued and you say, "Stay a while"

It's him or me, Doc, there's no other way
There is no politically correct way to say
I've had it, and I can't take it anymore
One more "pretty bird" and I crap on his floor, babe

Get this, Doc, he pulls feathers from my tail
Sticks them in his hat and laughs when I wail
It's humiliating, Doc, and downright rude
He definitely needs sensitivity training, not to be crude

Well, I see my time's up, so I'll give it a rest
I'll come back Tuesday and tell you the best
I haven't mentioned his flea-bitten dog
His bark reminds me of a squealing hog

So long Doc, just mail me the bill
I've got Medicare, ain't that a thrill?
You should be thankful you're gonna get paid
I'm headed back to that tyrant, I'm afraid


Song Ratings and Comments


rating 0.0 with 0 votes

0 favs

View My Favorites


no comments to show

Related Radio Stations



Related Albums by Phil Keaggy



More Song Lyrics by Phil Keaggy


  1. A Child (In Everyone's Heart)
  2. A Glorious Sunset
  3. A Little Bit of Light
  4. A New Star
  5. A Royal Commandment
  6. A Sign Came Through a Window
  7. A Time and A Place
  8. Above All Things
  9. Abraham
  10. Ain't Got No
  11. All I Have to Do Is Dream
  12. All Our Wishes
  13. All There Is to Know
  14. And On That Day
  15. Another Try
  16. Arrow
  17. As The Ruin Falls
  18. Baby Blue
  19. Ballad Of Ramona's Rose
  20. Ballad Of Romona's Rose
  21. Be In My Heart
  22. Be in Time
  23. Be Thou My Vision
  24. Beneath the Blood-Stained Lintel
  25. Best Christmas Morn
  26. Big Eraser
  27. Blessed Are
  28. Blessed Be the Ties
  29. Calling You
  30. Carefree
  31. Carry Me Back
  32. Carry On
  33. Chalice
  34. Chase the Bad Away
  35. Cherish The Moment
  36. Communion
  37. Comtemplate the Moon
  38. Connie's Song
  39. Contemplate the Moon
  40. County Down
  41. Days Like You
  42. Deadline
  43. Digital Maze
  44. Disappointment
  45. Do Lord
  46. Do You Hear What I Hear?
  47. Doin' Nothin'
  48. Don't Let Go of My Heart
  49. Don't Pass Me By
  50. Double Your Pleasure
  51. Duct Tape Universe
  52. Everything Is Alright
  53. Everywhere I Look
  54. Father
  55. Father-Daughter Harmony
  56. Final Day
  57. Find Me In These Fields
  58. For the Twelfth Night
  59. From the Beginning
  60. Full Circle
  61. Funny Faces
  62. Gentle and Strong
  63. Gentle Eyes
  64. Get Over It
  65. Get Up And Go
  66. Getting Closer
  67. God Only Knows
  68. God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen
  69. Graduation Day
  70. Happy Anniversary, Love
  71. Happy Holidays
  72. Harry's Dream
  73. Have Mercy Lord
  74. Headlines
  75. Headlines, Pt. 2
  76. Heaven Is Home
  77. Hello Cleveland
  78. Here and Now
  79. Here Comes the Sun
  80. Highland
  81. His Master's Voice
  82. Hope's Desire
  83. Hut City
  84. I Always Do
  85. I Belong To You
  86. I Know Someone
  87. I Love You Because
  88. I See Myself In You
  89. I Will Be There
  90. I Will Sing
  91. I'll Be Loving You
  92. I'm Gonna Get You Now
  93. I've Just Begun (Again)
  94. If Not for You
  95. In Between
  96. In Every Need
  97. In My Life
  98. In Your Keep
  99. Inseparable
  100. Inseperable
  101. Irish Blessing
  102. It Could Have Been Me
  103. It Could've Been Me
  104. It's You and Me
  105. Jesus Loves the Church
  106. Job
  107. John the Revelator
  108. Join the Revelator
  109. Judgement Day
  110. Just A Moment Away
  111. Just The Same
  112. Kathy's Song
  113. King of the Jews
  114. Let Everything Else Go
  115. Let Us Go to Bethlehem
  116. Life In Song
  117. Life, Love and You
  118. Like An Island
  119. Like the Sunrise
  120. Litany to the Spirit
  121. Little Ones
  122. Little School Girl
  123. Little Star
  124. Look Deep Inside
  125. Lost In You
  126. Love Broke Thru
  127. Love Divine
  128. Love Is the Reason
  129. Make A Change
  130. Make You Feel My Love
  131. Maker of the Universe
  132. March of the Clouds
  133. Micah 6:8
  134. Mighty Lord
  135. Morning Light
  136. Motor of Love
  137. Motorbike
  138. Movie
  139. My Auburn Lady
  140. My Shadow
  141. My Uncle Duke
  142. My Unspoken Words
  143. Nere World
  144. Noah's Song
  145. Nobody's Playgirl Now
  146. Nothing But the Blood
  147. Now I Can See
  148. O God Our Help In Ages Past
  149. Old Time Love
  150. Olivia
  151. Once I Prayed
  152. One In A Million
  153. Only You (Can Wash My Sins Away)
  154. Our Lives
  155. Our Towers
  156. Paka
  157. Papa Song
  158. Passport
  159. Pilgrim's Flight
  160. Play Thru Me
  161. Poem Without A Name
  162. Polly Want A Crackup
  163. Portrait
  164. Pulling Down
  165. Quite Suddenly
  166. Reaching Out
  167. Real Life
  168. Redemption
  169. Rejoice
  170. Reunion of Friends
  171. Revive Me
  172. Riley The Rattler
  173. Rise Up O Men of God
  174. River Of Life
  175. Riverton
  176. Round About You
  177. Ryan's Song
  178. Salvation Army Band
  179. Send Out Your Light
  180. Seventeen
  181. She Came To Stay
  182. She's A Dancer
  183. She's Got a Way
  184. Shouts of Joy
  185. Shut de Do'
  186. Simple
  187. Smoke
  188. Somebody Loves You
  189. Something In the Way She Moves
  190. Son of Man
  191. Songbird
  192. Sorry
  193. Sounds
  194. Spend My Life With You
  195. Still Waters
  196. Stone Eyes
  197. Strong Tower
  198. Struck By The Love
  199. Sunday School
  200. Sunday's Child
  201. Sunrise
  202. Take A Look Around
  203. Take Me Closer
  204. Talk About Suffering
  205. Tell Me How You Feel
  206. Tender Love
  207. Thank You for Today
  208. That Is What the Lord Will Do For You
  209. The 50th
  210. The Answer
  211. The Blood
  212. The Further Adventures Of...
  213. The Greatest Discovery
  214. The High and Exalted One
  215. The Seeing Eye
  216. The Survivor
  217. The True Believers
  218. The Two Of You
  219. The Wall
  220. There With You
  221. These Hills
  222. Things I Will Do
  223. Think About It
  224. This Could Be the Moment
  225. This Side of Heaven
  226. Time
  227. Time After Time
  228. Too Much Green
  229. Town to Town
  230. Train To Glory
  231. True Believers
  232. Turned On The Light
  233. Under the Grace
  234. Union Man
  235. Village Bells
  236. Walk In Two Worlds
  237. Walking With Our Lord
  238. Way Back Home
  239. We'll Meet Again
  240. Welcome Inn
  241. Were You There When They Crucified My Lord
  242. What a Day
  243. What A Love
  244. What A Wonder You Are
  245. What You Are Inside
  246. Whatever Life Demands
  247. When I Say I Love You
  248. When I'm 64
  249. When the Wild Winds Blow
  250. When Will I Ever Learn to Live In God
  251. When Will I Ever Learn to Live in God?
  252. Where Has Our Love Gone
  253. Where Is My Maker
  254. Where Is My Maker?
  255. Whisper
  256. Whose Heavy Heart
  257. Why
  258. Wild Heart
  259. Wild Horse
  260. Wished You Were There
  261. World of Mine
  262. You Have My Heart
  263. You're My Hero
  264. Your Light
  265. Your Love Broke Through

More Song Videos by Phil Keaggy