I'm a believer, sometimes I believe the, lies of the deceiver
The lies are seeds, when they sprout they lead to seasons of spiritual amnesia
Deep seated self doubt, that creeps in my conscience, feeds my fear
And keeps me up at night conquered by critical thoughts my mind is prone to conjure
When it wanders, watching my failures, play back, play back on repeat
I try to change the chain of events but can't rewind or find the delete
Button to push, I'm on the edge, it's like the world is about to end
I'm in the middle of Armageddon with no arms, no weapons, no armor for protection
It's the testing of my faith, and I know the answer but instead I'm just guessing
Like I forgot that God was my Father, and I was set apart for His own possession
His Word is my armor and my protection, against the enemy's deception
but still I question
How could I receive, such an incredible blessing when I feel like I'm less than?
Because I went through a divorce am I? A second rate Christian I know that's a lie
So I won't listen, through Christ I'm forgiven, I'm being formed, into His image
According to God, I was called from the darkness into His marvelous light
He is near, to the broken heart, and faithful to finish, what He started
As a child I struggled to identify most of my misplaced anger and rage
Dealing with the whole of emotional consequences based on the way I was raised
Appealing for affection and affirmation, adjusting performance to get attention and gain
Some sort of acceptance but found I was always rejected and pushed away
Deep scars, feelings of not belonging cause tall emotional walls
And any attempt to recover from the loss of my confidence was incredibly small
The residual effects of abandonment had me observing my character flaws
And viewing them all as insufficiently capable of relating or growing with God
I believed these lies to be true for me, my experience was the proof for me.
Up 'til the point where I could sense Christ's relentless love and complete pursuit of me.
And spoke to me offering me hope and life through His Word showing me His beauty.
Changing my perception and giving me perspective of the way that God truly viewed me
A man who was prized and pardoned, and chosen before the world's foundation,
His own possession, His royal priesthood, I'm part of His holy nation
I'm His friend, I'm valued, I'm completely cared for, enough for Christ to purchase.
According to God, I'm an adopted Child with intimate access created with purpose.
Who do you think you are?
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Released May 31, 2019
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