Mistletoe Meltdown by Matthew Parker

Irwin's Christmas Collection by Matthew Parker

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Mistletoe Meltdown
by Matthew Parker

Album: Irwin's Christmas Collection

Verse 1
I was ten years old, waiting on Christmas Day
I could hardly wait, it was just one week away
And there were Christmas parties every couple days
With all my relatives so old, they got one foot in the grave

Verse 2
I was ten years old, waiting on Christmas Day
I was happier than Santa in his sleigh
When all of a sudden, Uncle John pointed out there was mistletoe
Right above me, then my Great-Aunt Betty

Pre-Chorus 1
She leaned in for a kiss and I was mortified
My whole ten years of life flashed right before my eyes
And I said

Chorus
Get that mistletoe away from me
I don't wanna kiss nobody
Get your face away from me
No, no, no-no-no
Get that mistletoe away from me
Ain't nobody want no cooties
I don't wanna kiss nobody
No, no, no-no-no

Post-Chorus
I don't wanna kiss nobody
No, no, no-no-no

Verse 3
I was ten years old, waiting on Christmas Day
As a ten-year-old, my face needed some space
So no offense to loving aunts, give your poor Matthew a chance
And just don't kiss me, I'll get PTSD

Pre-Chorus 2
She leaned in for a kiss and I was mortified (I was mortified)
I'm sorry, ancient lady, but I would rather die (I would rather die)
And I said

Chorus
Get that mistletoe away from me
I don't wanna kiss nobody
Get your face away from me
No, no, no-no-no
Get that mistletoe away from me
Ain't nobody want no cooties
I don't wanna kiss nobody
No, no, no-no-no

Post-Chorus
Oh, no
I don't wanna kiss nobody, no, no, no
No, no, no-no-no

Bridge
All I want for Christmas is peace on earth and no kisses
And who on earth am I kidding, lots and lots of presents
But if I can't have all this, I'll settle for no kisses
This year, ooh

Chorus
Get that mistletoe away from me
I don't wanna kiss nobody
Get your face away from me
No, no, no-no-no
Get that mistletoe away from me
Ain't nobody want no cooties
I don't wanna kiss nobody
No, no, no-no-no

Post-Chorus
Oh, no
I don't wanna kiss nobody, nobody
No, no, no-no-no
Oh, no
I don't wanna kiss nobody
I don't wanna kiss nobody
No, no, no-no-no